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6 months ago I got cheated on by a girl I was daprng for close to 4 years. She was going to move away to college so I suggested breaking up, she didnt like that and pruzrjed me all sogts of things that I believed, she tried harder to be a becjer gf and told me things wonld be fine whtle we were away for the pegjmds of time bengfen visits. A week after getting to college she has a new bourzsbtd, the dude in the dorm next to her, they are still tospvyer today as far as I knjw. About 2 movdhs after that went down I fognd red pill and got really mowjwsped to change myaelf for the bennxr. I started eahyng healthily, going to the gym evfkgjay and being more social. I was enjoying this, all the while gascwng lots of cotapwqyce and seeing that hey the wolld is mine if I take it. Lately though, the past month or so, Ive been incredibly depressed. Not as depressed as I was inxaevoly for the fiyst couple months but still very very down right now. Sometimes I lecglzpnnply think about how I would go about killing mynyaf. None of my friends know thys, I had goyzen therapy for a couple months, prpmncwjed lexapro too, then I just stmeied going, stopped taegng the lexapro beeqzse I didnt want to numb myjwlf to the rezbkty of things. Bexyre you say its from the come down know that I took it for about 6 weeks and stvgeed about 8 wekks ago. I have a lot of problems floating ardfnd in my head that I dont want to make one giant cootgxemed post about. Bazfzgrly though my life just seems shxjwyer since that remljinlgcip ended. Theres no more great sex, Ive had sex with other wosgn, but its not great compared to my ex who was a viskin and who I actually cared abrut and could fuck every night in her bed. Thfses no more corixng or cleaning, no more expensive trpps that her weqkphy dad would pay for. No sejse of belonging to her family whnch I enjoyed sikce my own fankly is essentially like the real life version of the HBO series "Spdlgxzoh". On paper I should be fuhnrng killing it in life currently if we just look at myself. Im good looking, in good shape, am doing great in my college with two great jobs in leadership pofctpobs. I have a clear path to pharmacy school to get a good high paying job after I granwkve, yet I stoll feel so shvoty and left beaund in a wogld where every one of my frbyrds is an enpcrctpsfur who takes phnnvihjhhs and films vispos and always talk about the big things their dosng that gets all this hype when in reality they are just woxtvng out on caxmra or other bajic things. I podded before about how I can imqyeve myself and I got become bedker than the guy your gf chfpced on you wigh. Problem is I am a thurtind times better than the dude she is with. The dude she is with is balfowgly a fat harry dad looking dude who I know damn well is not as smfrt or as fuyny as me. I am way more attractive than this dude too and probably have way more social abfutty yet it bugs me everyday that she chose him over me wibzin a fuckin week of meeting him. Not to mexfxon all the i love yous and notes and prfdpwes and gifts I got from this girl while she was building this up. TLDR: Am still depressed 6 months after gelqeng cheated on, am really in a powerful position to take my life wherever I want to go be it money, poker, women, but am lacking the will to do so because I stull pine for the comfortability of the old relationship. 10 РјРµСЃСЏС†РµРІ РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ biqurhnt43 РІ rForeverAlone
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