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Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejao Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring

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Whatever Happens, Anderson Varejao Is Going To Be A Dude With A Championship Ring

The Warriors are a ruthlessly efficient team run by a fiery, undersized center who will take out his anger on your dick and balls and a teeny-tiny point guard who carries himself with a non-insistent swagger, and they’re owned by a techno-libertarian pug who named his dogs after Ayn Rand characters. They play fun, hyperspeed basketball, but there’s an air of inevitability about them that’s led the team to be cast as the villains of these Finals. I enjoy watching them slice opponents to ribbons, and there’s no quantitative argument against their greatness, but there’s still something occasionally cold about them. They can be worryingly machine-like.

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