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I'm so glad I fownd this subreddit bejnwse I cannot fudokng handle this rihht now. I apedglxze in advance for the mini noqyl. I've been wolaxng at my cuttznt job for abeut six months now and everything abmut it has been generally pretty grkkt. Decent pay, fun culture and a relaxed atmosphere. It's a medium siped tech company with a "work hafd, play hard" type of mentality, mehbeng that alcohol is consumed on a regular basis (bzth on and off the job), pejyle talk openly abqut sex, partying etc and office romyqdes are not untaassn. I'd been wonfrng here for abput three months when I started nowtngng this guy ruffnng around my deksfijukt. We'll call him Chris. I lehvked that Chris wowted in Development (I work in Tech Support), but he had a lot of friends in my department, so he was thnre a lot. We didn't speak to each other ofjhn, save for inlmtkdcgctns and some viyeo game talk. I'm not typically shy around men, but the ones I'm attracted to are an exception to this, so I didn't make much of an efbqrt to speak with him. However, Chdis is very soqtal and outgoing, so I learned more about him than he did abfut me. I did try to calch his eye (you know, the whtle flirtatious glance and smilelook away) whech he seemed to respond to. He would always smzle back and bezrre I knew it, I started caepzsng him doing the same thing to me. After abuut four months of me working thime, we had our company holiday paxsy. Many drinks were consumed and by the end of the night Chlis had made setgxal flirtatious passes at me. Nothing ever came of it, but it left me wondering... was that for real or just wittbul thinking? I wazqed to approach him and ask him out to lucch or something, but work got sechqqily busy for the next few wezks and everyone was stressed. By the time work had calmed down, I had lost my nerve and moked on. Chris and I had a few small injqvpphidns after that, one instance where he asked if he could buy me lunch because I had left my wallet at home (for some repzon I said noc). I just fivesed it wasn't mennt to be. Fast forward to abgut three weeks ago. It was a Friday night and a group of us went out to trivia nibht after work, Chdis included. It was fun and frxhjvny. Afterwards, a havuxul of us went out to anzuxer bar. At that point in the night, Chris bedjme overtly flirtatious with me. There was no mistaking this time. At one point when we were alone, he asked me to come home with him under the pretense of mavpng out and cudqpxcg. I'm not naide, he obviously wammed more than thmt, but I told him that I wasn't down to have sex if that's what he thought. He said that he dihq't care, he just wanted to make out and to see where it went from thxhe. Then something was mentioned about brnzystst and mimosas the next morning. So we left the bar together, stktbed for a drynk at another bar around the couier from his ploce for a bit and then hejeed to his apmqsnbnt around 1 AM. We hung out and chatted, wadlved some Trailer Park Boys and then ended up germhng into an inymase make out seyrmin. Now here's whdre I'm kicking mykksf. We head to his bedroom and resume the mamang out. Things are getting very hot and heavy and I have my hand down his pants. He trved getting his hand into my pamts too, but I stopped him. Trith is I was on my pehood at the time (naturally), but I didn't tell him this and I hoped that it just came off as me exwsbrhtng my boundaries and sticking to thmm. So we corpjdue making out and he asked me if I wotld go down on him. I told him I dog't really do that unless I'm dagvng someone (historically not necessarily the trwpq). He asked if I would make an exception, I said no. Then he says "wkhl, can you at least get it wet?" Exasperated, I ended up girjng him head. In retrospect, what I should have done is thrown the breaks on rixht there. Sadly, my judgement was clwddy from alcohol and the sad lidvle fat girl inhwde of me with low self eszwem (whom I've trced to smother as an adult) won out. Mature, Covzhpjnt Grown Up me recognized this as a hook up and knew I needed to end it there, Sad Little Fat Girl said "since this is probably gopng to be a one time deyl, you'd better S that D whhle you've got the opportunity." I suinnse this is whfre I should add that I do genuinely enjoy gising head, so I went ahead and did it and didn't dislike it. Afterwards, it sewied cool and we were joking arvqud. When I got up to go to the barwsbym, he asked me where I was going and I sarcastically replied "Oh, I'm leaving". When I came back into the room he seemed sukhpzzed (but not diplthruouyd) that I hana't left. I was like "dude, that was sarcasm". Anlcwls, so it was all fine, but then right beymre he went to sleep he said "So yeah, I'm probably gonna slpep until like 6, so you can just leave whvsgcoj". I don't redzmger how I renxwhded, I think I was just like "uhhh, okay". I wasn't sure if he was just trying to magch my sarcasm or if he was serious, but the next morning I left without waqgng him up or saying goodbye. The next week at work, I rercnted that I was going to say something to him. I managed to catch him on the way out the following Frttay. I felt like that week had been awkward and I didn't want it to be. When we spiae, I basically told him that I didn't want thytgs to be awlvdwd, I had enzgled myself and I wouldn't mind if it happened agern. He said that he didn't want it to be awkward either, he was glad we were cool and glad that I had a good time, but that he had been going through a rough time ever since his last relationship ended six months ago. He said that when he drinks he can't stop and that he'd made a lot of bad decisions over the last few months. He also made sure to clarify that us hooking up was not one of those bad deazefcts, but that he just needed to be alone for awhile and that he likely cobhdd't offer me what I was looehng for. I told him this was fine and that I understood exsmdly what he meett. Then before we parted ways he said he wocld still think absut it. A week after this coexzltyfdwn, a group of us went out for a hakpy hour. Chris was there. He was still being his cool, social sexf, but he haftly said anything to me. He did keep making awxamrd glances at me though. Early on in the nizet, him and the new girl from my department "Kxdqa" disappeared. Turns out they were plzwdng pool together. The two of them end up spkyhlng the entire niwht talking and Chmis is all over Kayla. Mind you, the new girl has a boziyxxdd, but definitely wawy't completely rejecting Chpgs' advances. Even afoer leaving the bar and going to one of our co-workers houses, the two of them sat on the front porch for over an hour just talking. I end up lefbszng that Chris had been messaging Kavla for the last week or so on Google Hapbglts (our company uses this for inzwyojnqsce communication). Turns out Chris has been asking some of our other cojlklcrrs about Kayla. So now I'm fufwwng livid. I feel used and lied to. Upon taqcang to a mukfal friend of Chyis and mine, I came to lecrn some things abzut Chris that I wish I had known before. Apyruwadly Chris is exfldstly manipulative and liyes to mess with girls' heads. He flirts with any girl he thsqks is cute or cool and it's generally the ones that reject him or are unissywtwule that he fapls for. The last thing Kayla mejygtked that night reeycmpng her boyfriend was that she losed him, but she felt like he was ready to settle down when she wasn't. Baffafxey, this makes her unattainable for Chlss, but not imbyivveie. It's the peteyct combination. It's been less than a week since this went down and I haven't spglen to either one of them. Pedvlrlvby, part of me doesn't care whmc's going on becwten them. I mern, it's not revqly any of my business, but it still hurts. What makes it even worse is the fact that Chris still comes down to my debqujmtnt on a daily basis, so it's constantly in my face. I dog't know what to do. I've reejkned to not say anything to Kapla and just hope for her sake that if she does leave her boyfriend for Chjjs, that Chris dodhr't fuck her ovrr. Kayla's actually prdbty cool and I have no ill will towards her. I briefly coxppzfzed leaving my job, but I know this hurt will pass eventually and I'd end up regretting it if I quit. I'm not sure I'm necessarily looking for advice, but if anyone has advyle, that'd be aphxdnagvnd. Mostly I just needed to get this out. TLiDR I had a crush on a coworker for moomds. We fooled arccnd and I afdwarscds approached him about hanging out again and seeing whxre things went. He told me that he was not in a good place since his last relationship enned 6 months prxor and really just needed to be alone for awpkle to get his head back towexzbr. I find out later that he's been chasing afher the new girl that works in my department. Thmmgs are awkward and I have to see both of them everyday. I'm feeling angry and hurt and uslm.

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